Learning To Protect My Unconscious Self Through Dreams Part 1

Learning To Protect My Unconscious Self Through Dreams Part 1

Learning To Protect My Unconscious Self Through Dreams Part 1

A week ago.

Inside a Modernist concrete building. It was about six-floor tall, geometric, austere. It was similar to the Le Corbusier buildings, but more like the 70s Japanese Metebolism style as the space was quite compact. It reminded me of the spacious concrete building I dreamt about many years ago. It was a gigantic enclosed building, poorly lit. Andy Warhol and I, yes, Andy Warhol in his platinum hair, were walking up the stairs that led us to the ceiling. He asked me how I thought about the space, I was overwhelmed. As we walked and talked, green leaves were growing and changing colours on the ceiling at the speed of our footsteps.

This time I was walking down the building floor by floor with a stranger. Each floor was seamlessly filled with fluorescent light like James Turrell’s light installations. Besides light, inside in this windowless building was only air, except that on the third level, there was a guard in Star Wars Stormtooper outfit patrolling in the space. That was the last thing I could remember. It was quite fascinating.

james turrell
James Turrell ‘Virtuality squared’ 2014. Image: National Gallery of Australia

Last night

Last night I revisited the building. This time we started from the cellar. We – myself, my mum and her child. I couldn’t remember what was on the lowest level, but apparently we were all very impressed by something magical there. One level up, there were kitsch artworks displayed in the caves next to each other. The space was lit up in dazzling sunlight and crowded with tourists. I followed the crowd to the end of the corridor where everyone was contemplating a gigantic piece of art that reached to the ceiling on level 6. I looked up. It was a silver bell, hung by and stood on a zigzag structure. Except its scale there wasn’t anything mind-blowing. Other things we looked at were quite ordinary. Where was the originality? I thought to myself. I was disappointed.

As we walked up to level 2, it opened up a spacious space lit up in soft pink and purple light similar to what I saw last week. This time the space was almost 50 times bigger. At the end of the space, the wall was cushioned in pink leather embellished with shiny diamonds. It looked more like a dance floor but somebody told me it was a gallery. On our left there was a kids playground. I jumped onto the swing, facing to the inflated duck-shaped swimming pool on the other side of the room. From the ceiling slowly slid down a girl on a roller coaster cart. The rail she was riding on was only a thin, curvy sheet of plastic in the form of a spiral water park slide. It was very dangerous so she gripped the control stick and slid down cautiously.

After a few swings I jumped out of the window to the entrance of the building on ground floor. A flamboyant man and a paper bear were pretending to be dead on a red vintage Porsche. I asked them what they were doing. The man told me not to wake up the bear and warned me to do the same. I said fine. Soon I felt the brown fur around me and realised I had turned into a bear. Should I pretend to be dead too? But why? I wasn’t sure what to do.

Far away came a man with evil, furious eyes. He threatened me with a knife on my face. Fortunately the man and the bear were safe because he thought they were dead. While he was checking them I quickly run back to level 1. I noticed there was a person blocking this evil man’s way with masking tape. He told me, this is going to stop the monster from coming in to get you. But I wasn’t convinced. The masking tape was too fragile to protect anything. But it also meant that I could run away. I felt stuck. I wanted to run away but I was scared. I was a bear, a fluffy bear who wanted to run away from this pseudo protection, pseudo playground and art gallery, and probably, her mum and her mum’s child. Then I woke up.

Coming up next

Between last week and last night, dreams were nightmares. There were revenge, anger, throat blockage which had a very negative impact on my emotions in reality. I feel better travelling back to the building – wherever it was, to me it was probably like a symbol of protection, where my lighthearted imaginations and dreams were. In the second part I will write about those nightmares. I hope you enjoy all this nonsense from my unconsciousness.

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Posted on at 1:33 pm by Danling Xiao.